So we'll disregard the last post. The best of intentions fell by the wayside.
Today, I'm writing about love.
For me it's always the wrong kind.
Either it's unrequited - sometimes for me, sometimes for my partner - or I just can't do anything about it, because circumstances prevent it. Or in the case of my wife, it came too late. I'm not saying I didn't love her when we married, but by the time we split I loved her more. By then though, she didn't feel the same. So I guess it was unrequited again.
I've recently been chatting, IMing and texting with an old friend. We were friends for two years and tried dating, though not for long, before I moved away and we lost touch. Then last year I refound her on facebook. She's now mostly happily married, with two kids.
It was falling into unrequited love with someone else that compelled me to turn to her for advice and comfort, because after nine years, I'd gotten used to the idea that my feelings for her would always be different, stronger perhaps, than hers for me. I was wrong. It turns out there is regret there and that she feels the same - I don't think I could ever stop loving her, but I thought the feelings of desire were gone - now I know they were just simmering away on a back burner. I can't be responsible for her marriage breakdown, so I have to back off. Leave her alone. I'm trying to figure out what's worse - unrequited love or impossible requited love.